20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son

  1. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight. But, if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.
  2. Take pride in your appearance. It is the first impression others have of you.
  3. Don't be afraid to be polite. "Yes ma'am", "yes sir", "please", and "thank you" still go a long way.
  4. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.
  5. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others,
      manage your time, and stay out of trouble. And maybe even to throw or catch.
  6. Be comfortable in your faith, sometimes it will be the only thing you have to fall back on in this crazy and
      confusing world. Pray when you need to. Remember, God will never turn away.
  7. Take careful aim when you pee. Someone has to clean that up, you know.
  8. The reason they are called "private parts" is because they're private. Please keep them covered and
       refrain from touching or scratching them in public.
  9. Be strong and tender at the same time. Know when to listen and when to talk.
10. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom.
      Don't ever be ashamed you know how to use them.
11. Your knowledge and education can never be taken away from you.
12. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship. Don't take something away from her you can't give back.
13. A woman can do everything you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing
      diapers at 3 am. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.
14. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone, and it's even longer to live with someone who
      hates your guts.
15. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.
16. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with
      you and my grandchildren.
17. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it some day.
18. Potty humor isn't the only thing that's humorous. There is a fine line between funny and not funny.
      Knowing where this line falls is the art of comedy.
19. Be patriotic. In mind, heart and spirit. And, don't forget to thank a soldier every time you get a chance.
20. Remember to call your mother, I might be missing you.